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Thread: A Letter from your Boss

  1. #1

    Default A Letter from your Boss

    A Letter From The Boss

    To All My Valued Employees,

    There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesnít pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country.

    However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

    First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Cadillac outside. Youíve seen my big home at last years Christmas party. Iím sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life.

    However, what you donít see is the back story.

    I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living apartment was
    converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.

    My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didnít have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business ó hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.

    Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstromís for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the discount store extracting any clothing item that didnít look like it was birthed in the 70ís. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.

    So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I donít. There is no ďoffĒ button for me.

    When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe
    this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden ó the nice house, the Cadillac, the vacationsÖ you never realize the back story and the sacrifices Iíve made.

    Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who
    didnít. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.

    Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price Iíve paid is steep and not without wounds.

    Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:

    I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I donít pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my ďstimulusĒ check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch.

    The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check?

    Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.

    The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck youíd quit and you wouldnít work here. I mean, why should you? Thatís nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.

    Here is what many of you donít understand Ö to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didnít need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.

    When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you donít defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you?

    Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it.
    Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.

    So where am I going with all this?

    Itís quite simple.

    If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your childís future.
    Frankly, it isnít my problem any more.

    Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire. You see, Iím done. Iím done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be
    destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.

    So, if you lose your job, it wonít be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this
    country, steamrolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry aboutÖ.

    Signed,

    Your boss

  2. #2

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    >yawn<

    I read through the first bit, but then it just prattled on.

    The thing is, if he built his company up while surviving on Ramen noodles, god bless him, but his unwillingness to take mass transit during a recession shows he is not a team player willing to re-tighten his blt over his now corpulent corporate belly.

    AIG doing things like giving out bonuses AFTER being bailed out and saying "well, it was in their contract" while other "contracts" are renegotiated and benefits eliminated for others is preposterous.

    The question here is not RAISING taxes, but eliminating all the nice little tax-break payoffs Bush and company gave out after receiving all the campaign donations from "the workers" at the company.

    All these politicians scream about the money that is being spent on Pork, but try to touch their weinershnitzel and you will get your hand bitten! At the same time, they want the money to just come from the sky magically.

    And in the meantime, the middle class is constantly told by both sides that they are being looked after, but all that is happening is that those substantially above or below them are being catered to for their votes and/or campaign $$ and we are left out in the cold.

    Joe the "plumber" can eat crap for all I care. He is no a plumber like what I have known all my life (father).

    I am so sick of these stupid unbalanced rants.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ninjahedge View Post
    >yawn<

    I read through the first bit, but then it just prattled on.

    The thing is, if he built his company up while surviving on Ramen noodles, god bless him, but his unwillingness to take mass transit during a recession shows he is not a team player willing to re-tighten his blt over his now corpulent corporate belly.
    First off, I'm sure this is one of those fictional letters someone made, but lets take a look at the bigger picture here.

    Do you really think that by him taking mass transit, he would be able to save someones job in his company? You are just knit picking.
    And I just skimmed through it again. I didnt see anything in regards to mass transit or travel. Im probably going blind.
    Last edited by dragonash; 03-16-2009 at 11:04 AM.

  4. #4
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    Yeah, you know all the right-wing talking points about how the Obama tax policy will hurt small businesses so terribly?

    Yeah... not so much.
    The Politico and the AP forwarded the false Republican talking point that President Obama's proposals to let the Bush tax cuts for wealthy taxpayers expire and reduce the tax rate at which wealthy taxpayers could take itemized deductions would increase taxes on a large percentage of small businesses. In fact, according to the Tax Policy Center, just 2 percent of tax returns that reported small business income in 2007 are in the top two income tax brackets, which include all filers with taxable incomes that would be affected.
    Links to sources at the site.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dragonash View Post
    First off, I'm sure this is one of those fictional letters someone made, but lets take a look at the bigger picture here.

    Do you really think that by him taking mass transit, he would be able to save someones job in his company? You are just knit picking.
    And I just skimmed through it again. I didnt see anything in regards to mass transit or travel. Im probably going blind.
    I didn't either, that is my point.

    So many of the owners and CEO's in companies around here, my own included, will not give up the luxuries they afford in order to pinch pennies.

    Get this, our guys will still use car service to go cross-town at mid day (it is actually faster to walk), they are putting in their own executive MARBLE bathroom (too good for the general bathroom on the floor) but we are now told we cannot use the color copier to make prints because we are trying to save money! (actually, IT took away peoples rights to access that printer entirely. They did not ask, they told). And all this is after layoffs!

    Then you have companies like AIG that say that their "hands are tied" when it comes to things like executive bonuses AFTER BEING BAILED OUT.

    So the bottom line is this. We have yet another fictional character in a fictional buisness situation that will, because of the decisions being made, have to force Joe Average Guy to lose his job.

    In order to validate this, and make it known that nothing else could be done, we are told that Mr Boss Guy worked hard, just like ever other American Worker, to get to where he is, and to tell him otherwise goes against everything that is American.


    In short, this story is a load of crap. At most it will effect probably less than 1% of the American people in the way it has described, but it is made to feel like it could happen to anyone!!!! IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!!!!!


    OMGWTFBBQ!!!!!


    Enough already.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Dr. Death's Avatar
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    Let's be realistic. IF indeed his company "suddenly" didn't have to pay taxes, they would lay off half the accounting department, and wind up paying the windfall profits in big dividends to stockholders. Once the dividends were paid and Wall Street realized the company was "very healthy," the stock price would skyrocket. With all the extra capital, the owner would then expand his business by buying up competitors or vertically expanding, and laying off half their staffs, as well as a large portion of his own, because he is "streamlining" and "eliminating duplicate functions." The CEOs and directors of these companies, in exchange for voting for the mergers, would receive huge golden parachute packages.

    THAT'S what would REALLY happen.
    National Sarcasm Society
    "Like we need your support."

  7. #7

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    Thank you, DD!

    The reality is, BIG BUSINESS IS PISSED because, for once in almost a decade, they gotta play by the rules again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranshackle
    I like Hasselhoff's ass better.

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